Coaching vs Therapy

Welcome back, I'm happy you're here.

Happy Summer Solstice (to my Northern Hemisphere friends)!

How are you celebrating the lightest day of the year?

The #1 question I get asked:

What's the difference between coaching and therapy?

I won't be able to answer this question personally. While I can share with you all the value I've gotten from working with coaches, in the last 20 years, I think I've had a total of 20 sessions with 3 or 4 different therapists. Apparently it's not for me.

I was trained and certified through iPEC (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching) a credentialed program recognized by the ICF (International Coaching Federation.)

iPEC via ICF teaches us:

“Coaching isn't Therapy:

Therapy examines the past to help a client cope with the present.

Coaching builds on the present to create the future.

Generally, therapists work to move their patient from a state of dysfunction to being a fully functional individual. Often this centers on resolving conflict within the individual or in a relationship, overcoming past issues, healing trauma, and sometimes managing mental illness. Therapy, therefore, must often deal with the past so that a patient can exist in the present.

Coaching clients, in contrast, are already working at a functional level. They're on their feet, they have goals in mind, and it's the coach's job to help them see past the inner obstacles holding them back and empower them to take action so they can perform at an optimal level.”

(If you are an LMFT's, psychiatrist or social worker and their description doesn't resonate with what you do, please let me know.)

Let the record state, I, Joey Brighton Reynolds, do not think my friends and family who are in therapy are dysfunctional.

It turns out I do have something to share.

I like tangible results.

I'm very visual.

When I can see tangible progress, I feel better about my efforts. For me, therapy felt like a lot of talking, with no destination. It felt like I got in the car and drove around aimlessly. With coaching, I got in the car with a plan. Let's say New York is my goal. It doesn't matter if I take the northern or the southern route, or zig zag across the country, I can see that I am getting closer to NY. All of my coaches have gotten me to my destination and often it was more beautiful than I remembered.

At the start or Covid, when we were in lockdown, I was on a call with my coach. With nowhere to go, I told her I'd been wanting to make a photo album from my trip to Tanzania, in 2013. In the past, I'd return from traveling abroad and make an album within a week. I was finally ready to make the album or scratch it off my list.

Why had I procrastinated so many years?

I had six thousand photos to narrow down.

I couldn't decide what kind of album to make:

A coffee table book with only the “good” photos.

An album of my experience in Africa for one month, with the good and the random photos.

Make two different books.

With the support of my coach, I came up with a plan to start organzing and narrowing down the photos. I made two categories: a coffee table or photo album.

She helped me get clarity on the purpose of the album. Once I knew the “why” of wanting to make an album, I was able to tap into my joy, that had been paralyzed by the task.

I spent seven years feeling overwhelmed, anxious and guilty thinking about it. Once I got into the rhythm and acknowledged/released what was holding me back, I had a lot of fun making it. Within three weeks I had a photo album delivered to my door and that felt amazing! The thought of narrowing down 6000 photos was my quicksand.

There is a Chinese proverb that says “Talk doesn't cook rice.”

I help my clients identify their quicksand, so they can start cooking the rice.

My invitation for you:

Bring to mind something you keep putting off:

If you could identify your quicksand, what do you think it is?
Is it a “have to” or a “want to?”
How can you shift it from a “have to” to a “want to?”
How comfortable are you putting it on hold, or scratching it off your list completely?

I have uncompleted tasks that caused more stress than I was comfortable with. I eventually look them off my list. I released the guilt of moving it from week to week by eliminating the chore altogether.

Are you ready to cook some rice?

I'd love to find out how I can support you.

You can schedule a curiosity here.

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Thanks for reading! I look forward to seeing you next time.

With so much gratitude,