A Coaching Session: To be perfect or to be vulnerable, that is the question…
Welcome back, I'm happy you're here.
We've been invited to listen in on a coaching session.
Chelsea: I'm frustrated because it takes too long to make my yoga videos. I feel like I'm dreading making them.
Joey: What are your yoga videos for?
Chelsea: I want to post them on YouTube for people to have access to free yoga.
Joey: What is exhausting about it?
Chelsea: After a full day of work, I set up the camera and tripod. It takes forever to record one video because I always make mistakes. I have to do the poses multiple times to get them perfect. It takes me over 3 hours to film and edit a 30 minute yoga flow. There is so much that goes into one 30 minute video… who knew.
Joey: I can see how that can be exhausting. Why are you making the videos in the first place?
Chelsea: Yoga has been super beneficial to my emotional and physical well being. It's so much more than just stretching. I was going through a tough time and yoga saved me. I want everyone to be able to experience all the healing benefits I get from it.
Joey: I can tell you're really passionate about yoga and want it to be accessible to as many people as possible.
Chelsea: Yes, exactly and I'm really hard on myself, wanting the videos to be perfect.
Joey: It's normal to get caught up in wanting something to be perfect. We feel like the product is a reflection of who we are. If our product is flawless, people will think I'm flawless. The unfortunate part is we then forget why we're doing it in the first place. Being overly focused on the future product, we're distracted from being present to the current project, the thing we once loved.
Chelsea: Totally. Right now I love it and hate it and I want to only love it.
Joey: Have you heard of Yoga with Adriene?
Chelsea: Yes, I LOVE her.
Joey: What do you love about her?
Chelsea: She's quirky, makes mistakes and laughs it off or starts singing in the middle of a pose.
Joey: Are her videos perfect?
Chelsea: Not at all! I think that's what I love about them.
Joey: It's fascinating how we appreciate vulnerability in others and it's terrifying when we try to do it ourselves.
Chelsea: No kidding, it's so scary.
Joey: Do you know how many followers she has?
Chelsea: Millions!
Joey: Yes and that means millions of people appreciate her quirkiness.
Chelsea: I hadn't thought about that. That's crazy. She doesn't need to be perfect and millions of people do yoga with her.
Joey: Knowing that what you love about Adriene is what you're most scared to do, are you open to being more vulnerable and releasing the idea of your videos being “perfect?”
Chelsea: I would love that. It would definitely save me some time and stress.
Joey: Something I love to do is follow the fear. When I'm wanting something to be perfect, I ask myself what would happen if I made a mistake. Why do I want/need it to be perfect and what's the worst thing that could happen if and when I am not perfect. What do you think about that?
Chelsea: I love that, I'll try that when we hang up.
Joey: What is one thing you can do to step outside of your comfort zone and embrace vulnerability?
Chelsea: I think I'll film my next video in one take. Depending how I feel about it, I will post it as is. It will also eliminate the extra time it takes to edit.
Joey: That sounds great! What usually takes 3 hours could possibly be done in 40 mins.
Chelsea: That would be amazing!
Joey: Can I make a suggestion?
Chelsea: Please
Joey: Before you film your next video, remind yourself what you love about yoga and why you're sharing your practice with the world.
Chelsea: I'll definitely do that. When I think about my journey it makes me happy and I would love for that to come through in my videos.
Joey: That's beautiful! I look forward to doing yoga with you.
Chelsea: Thank you! I'm excited to try something new.
Joey: Be kind to yourself. Perfectionism doesn't go away overnight.
Chelsea: I'll try, thank you for that!
Thank you Chelsea (not her real name, obviously) for inviting us in.
My invitation for you:
Bring to mind something you are wanting to be perfect:
What does 'perfect' mean to you?
Why does it need to be perfect?
What would happen if there were mistakes?
How do you respond to others when they make the same mistakes you fear?
I'm a visual learner. For me, it always helps to see in action what I'm wanting to cultivate in my own life. For example cooking: I'm more likely to make a dish I've watched someone else prepare, than I am by reading the recipe with no visual cues.
If you're wanting to embrace vulnerability, bring to mind someone whom you admire, who is living by example.
What do you admire about them?
What about their vulnerability intrigues you?
What's one thing, a sliver outside of your comfort zone, you could try today, in being more vulnerable?
Are you ready to release the stress of being perfect?
Are you ready to make friends with vulnerability?
I've come a long way with embracing my own vulnerability. When you're ready to show yourself fully, or a little more than you do today, I'm the perfect guide for you.
Schedule a free curiosity call to find out more.
Your future self will thank you!
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Thanks for reading! I look forward to seeing you next time.
Vulnerability looks like…
This is me, with a migraine (in paradise).
Before I snapped this photo, I reached out to a friend, asking for some distanced healing.
Every day I get a little better asking for help.
With so much gratitude,
