I’m A Hypocrite!
I feel like a hypocrite.
I encourage my clients to figure out what they want and how to make it happen, and I'm over here settling for “good enough” or giving in to the pressures of what I “should” do.
I bought a car and I freaking love it!
Why I feel like a hypocrite for $200-
I bought an SUV.
Don't get me wrong, a part of me wanted a Prius.
I saw a few I really liked, but I couldn't deal with the annoying salesmen.
When I started to feel defeated, I took a pause and asked myself:
“What do I WANT?”
It was a no brainer, I immediately answered “An SUV”
Then the guilt trickled in.
“But I care about the environment, I can't get an SUV.”
“What will my family of countless Prius owners think of me?”
“I should save the extra money for something I need.”
To be honest, I knew all along I wanted an SUV. I let my guilt distract me.
I hopped in my (moms) car and drove to Van Nuys. I figured I might as well test drive one, just to see how I feel.
The minute I got in I thought “This is my car.”
And then I thought “I'm fucked.” This is more than I wanted to spend on a car.
I called my mom on my drive home, telling her I have a conundrum.
She told me to buy it. She said “You've always short changed yourself, if you love it, get it!”
One of the top 5 things I love - the sun shining on me!
Two days later I was driving home in my new (to me) 2020 Toyota RAV4 Hybrid, Limited edition. Less guilt because it's a hybrid!
The hardest part about this wasn't succumbing to an SUV.
The hardest part was spending that much money on myself.
Spending money on other people, that's easy.
Buying myself the same thing and all of a sudden I have to find a way to justify it.
It hasn't been fun.
I work hard for my money.
I deserve to enjoy it!
And yet, I've been limiting myself.
Always saving for a rainy day.
I remember in high school my dad asking “what if it never rains?”
What if it never rains!?!
I rarely ask myself what I want.
Maybe for fear of it not working out?
I've always done what I felt obligated to do.
The smart, practical steps.
Considering everyone else before myself. (In this case the planet.)
I feel like this is a huge turning point for me.
I'm getting better at asking myself and waiting for a reply… and then honoring it.
Bonus- It minimizes my overthinking.
Ask a question: What do I want to eat?
Answer: A burger.
And then I went and got a burger and fries!
(This may seem simple but it was never this simple for me. I always made it more complicated.)
If we don't ask, rarely will we get an answer or at least the answer we're looking for.
We've all been disappointed in the past, making a request and being rejected. That memory stays with us, making it harder to go after what we want the next time.
We start to settle and justify.
We let the fear take over.
What if it doesn't work out?
But what if it DOES?!?
Let me tell you, I would have been happy driving a Prius, but every time I get in my RAV4 I am over the moon. I love it so much!
How we do one thing is how we do everything…
This story easily could have been about dating and how I've been known to settle. (In the past I would have either gotten the newer Prius or kept my old one and continued to complain about how much work it needs.)
This experience, as exhausting as it was, showed me a new version of myself.
A version that won't settle for “good enough.”
A version that is done putting others' needs ahead of my own.
A version that doesn't feel guilty for wanting what I want.
A version that won't tolerate being disrespected.
A version that knows when to walk away.
A version that advocates for myself.
A version that trusts it'll all work out.
My invitation for you:
Bring to mind a time you put your wishes on the back burner:
Why are you settling?
What fear is keeping you from going after it?
How is it serving you to disregard your wishes?
How would your life be different if you prioritize your wishes?
My friend, are you ready to figure out what you WANT and go after it?
Are you ready to stop settling and start prioritizing yourself? I'd be honored to support you!
What different version of yourself are you ready to meet?
You can schedule a curiosity call here.
It's a friendly conversation, with no strings attached.
I created a free worksheet to help people figure out their core values and how to apply them in their every day life.
Thanks for reading! I look forward to seeing you next time.
With so much gratitude,
