Want vs Need…

From my hike in Malibu.

I have a confession to make.

I've been depriving myself.

I've been preventing myself from truly enjoying life.

 

Last week I had an epiphany that smacked me across the face.

My relationship between 'need' and 'want' has been compromising my life.

 

Sometimes the part of me that is very practical interferes with my life. I've only allowed myself to have the things I 'need.' I can afford the things I 'want' but I can't justify the need for them, so I deprive myself. I know, how sad.

 

(This might be cultural, being jewish, or ancestral trauma, but) There is also a part of me that hates being wasteful. I struggle with throwing things away if it still has some value. Replacing something before it's run its course, feels unnecessary/impractical. Does this resonate with you?

 

I've been practicing treating myself to the things I want. At the bare minimum, I'm acknowledging “It's me, hi. I'm the problem, it's me.” (-Taylor Swift) I'm the only one standing in the way of what I want. This week I realized I 'want' a new car. Don't get me wrong, I love my '07 Prius, she's been amazing… And she's almost as old as my sisters who will be graduating high school in a couple of weeks!

 

My moral dilemma was 'I don't need a car, mine works perfectly fine.' Up until a few months ago, I had zero issues with my car. Spending time in other peoples newer cars, got me excited to have my own newer car!

 

I stopped 'wanting' things, for fear of being disappointed. It's exciting to want something. I can feel an anticipation bubbling inside me. It's fun, especially for me, who never felt anything.

 

The hardest part about this epiphany is that one of my core values is self care, but the irony is I was depriving myself of the self care that I considered pampering, or a luxury. I'll invest in myself, if it helps my business or gives me a deeper understanding of myself, but if the purpose is to only make me look or feel good, I have a hard time justifying it. I love massages and I would treat myself once in a blue moon. 

 

Once I made this connection, I've been getting a massage once a month and enjoyed a long, overdue pedicure. Feeling good is important to me, and now I'm prioritizing it, which will have a ripple effect on all the people whose path I cross.

 

My focus/intention is to indulge. I had to look up antonyms for deprive and 'indulge' jumped out at me.

 

It's also my birthday week, which feels like a great excuse and opportunity to start indulging myself.

 

Now that I've mentioned I'd like a new car, my next step is to find someone who loves the car buying/leasing experience. If that's you or someone you know, please let me know. I'll take all the help, support, and guidance I can get. (Look at me, I'm asking for help!)

 

Sadly, it wasn't just big ticket items I was depriving myself of… I just finished a delicious mango, something I rarely buy, yet love so much! Not anymore! If I want a mango, I'm going to buy mangos and savor every bite!

Lately I've been calling myself a fairy godmother. I think it's kind of funny, but it's how I feel, swooping in and making people's lives a little easier and lighter. I've also been calling myself a professional problem solver.

 

If you know anyone who is looking for a fairy godmother or professional problem solver, send them my way.

They will be forever grateful to you!

 

Something to ponder:

  • What is something you've been wanting and how might you be depriving yourself from having it?

  • What is your relationship to need vs want?

  • What does ‘indulge’ mean to you and how often do you indulge yourself?


My friend, are you ready to declare what you want? It's time to take a deep breath, in and out, drop the weight of the world from your shoulders and spend more time doing the things that put a smile on your face! Believe me, you'll thank me.

 

Not sure what you want? You can schedule a curiosity call here

It's a friendly conversation, with no strings attached.

I created a free worksheet to help people figure out their core values and how to apply them in their every day life.

 

Thanks for reading! I look forward to seeing you next time.

With so much gratitude,

 
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