I’ve Been Hibernating, Grieving and Overthinking…

I've been thinking a lot about you, my friend.

I want to apologize for pulling a vanishing act.

It wasn't intentional and had nothing to do with you. I promise.

For the last few months I've felt like a bear in hibernation. I've had very little motivation to do anything outside of my priorities; clients, preschool and lots of self care (therapy and sound baths!)

In the past I would have judged myself for being lazy.

I'm learning that this is part of my natural rhythm, embracing these ebbs and flows.

The last thing I want to do is write 'Tuesdays with Joey' out of obligation. If I write out of obligation, I'll start to resent my time with you. That's the last thing I want.

I'm learning how to honor exactly what I need. It feels like I'm doing a whole lot of nothing, and like a bear, my mind, body and soul are needing plenty of rest.

My friend shared an interesting insight that I love- When we feel stuck, unmotivated or hibernated, it's the universe pulling us back, like an arrow, holding us in position and lining us up to shoot us forward, in our new direction! Thoughts?

- How do you respond when your mind, body or soul tells you you've hit your capacity?

In this time of introspection, healing and learning, I realized I'm also grieving. Nedra Tawwab Glover, my favorite Boundaries Therapist, wrote about grief:

“Grief isn't always the reaction to a loss of life. Grief is a reaction to loss.

Grief can be triggered by the loss of: 

• People who aren't growing with us

• Relationships that we need to leave

• Parts of ourselves that we have lost or have chosen to leave behind

• Our childhood, or the childhood we wish we had

• Relationships that will never be what we want them to be”

(You can read her full article here.)

My mind was blown. It turns out I'm grieving a handful of things.

To be clear, I'm not depressed or secretly crying for help. (There is nothing wrong with either of those things!)

For years I would brush my feelings under the rug. (Have you been known to do this?)

Times have changed.

I've changed.

I'm taking the time to check in and see how I feel.

I'm seeking clarity- Am I saying yes out of desire or obligation?

I'm slowing down.

I'm feeling angry.

I'm feeling sad.

I'm feeling feelings I wouldn't let myself feel in the past.

For more years than I'd like to think, these emotions have been tucked into the corners of my body, hiding, taking up space, waiting for the perfect moment to be acknowledged (before they explode or cause dis-sease in my body).

The other night I had a dream about a bear. We stared into eachothers eyes and then it walked away. I woke up wondering if this means I'll be coming out of hibernation soon? I miss being motivated and “sociable.” And I trust this is exactly where I'm supposed to be, until it's not.

I drove out to Joshua Tree for some time in nature and live music. It was exactly what I needed. If you only knew the uphill battle I put myself through in getting out there, you'd laugh or sympathize.

Long story short, I pulled myself out of a two day long spiral of overthinking about how I'd get there and when I'd go, when I remembered my word for the year- Inner Peace. How can I get to inner peace and out of this spiraling as fast as possible?

- How do you stop the spiraling of “what if's”?

I don't know when we'll cross paths again. I'm hoping it's sooner than later.

Until then, please enjoy some of my photos from Joshua Tree.

My invitation for you:

May is Mental Health Awareness Month!

• What does mental health mean to you?

• How do you take care of your mental health?

Please share a photo or story from your life since we last connected. I'd love to hear from you. Dealers choice, share whatever you'd like or ask me anything.

My friend, now is the time to release the anger and frustrations in your life. It's time to take a deep breath, in and out, drop the weight of the world from your shoulders and spend more time doing the things that put a smile on your face! Believe me, you'll thank me.

You can schedule a curiosity call here. 

It's a friendly conversation, with no strings attached.

I created a free worksheet to help people figure out their core values and how to apply them in their every day life.

Thanks for reading! I look forward to seeing you next time.

With so much gratitude,