Why I’m Running To The Nearest Cave!
This is my version of Homer Simpson retreating into the hedges.
Welcome back, I'm happy you're here.
Something terrifying happened…
I'm not talking about my dog bite, this is a different kind of terrifying. I actually haven't told you about my dog bite, we'll save that for a different Tuesday.
I've been marketing myself on TikTok (feel free to roll your eyes now.) It started as a suggestion from my cousin Rose, (who is a super creative, slow fashion designer), and while it took me a minute to embrace it, it's become my favorite place to market my business.
I've been slowly working towards 1,000 followers; that's when I can add a link to my website (otherwise I don't notice or care how many followers I have.)
Saturday night I had 960 followers. I was so close. I posted a five second video describing my ideal client. Just before bed, I opened the app and noticed I had 1,010 followers! I immediately added a link to my website with all my freebies and went to sleep.
I woke up Sunday morning to 1,100 followers.
I was surprised, excited and had no idea what was coming…
By Monday afternoon I had 1800 followers and the video had been viewed over 26K times. My videos typically hover around 200 views.
My head exploded and I wanted to go hide in a cave.
So why am I so terrified?!?
I spent the majority of my life trying to be invisible.
I never wanted attention. It made me uncomfortable.
I feel like I now have 1,800 people waiting to hear what I have to say.
And I have stage fright.
Here's a visual:
I'm in an empty auditorium. I'm practicing standing on stage, talking to no-one. My cousin Rose comes in and takes a seat. My friends Nancy and Susan come in 10 minutes later. Over the next 8 months, a few people come in at a time. I can handle a few at a time. Then one day, 800 people walk in together. I freeze!
What makes them so special?
Nothing.
I had the same fear when you signed up, but you came in quietly.
In the past I would put an insane amount of pressure on myself to meet others' expectations. I disregarded what I could bring to the table and tried to give them who I thought they wanted.
With the pressure came the fear of letting them down.
I would either self sabotage or abort before they could reject me.
I've changed.
Here's a list of things I've said to myself in the last 36 hours:
It's ok to be scared.
It's ok to feel uncomfortable.
It's ok if they (and you) unfollow me if I am not meeting their expectations.
I am not for everyone.
It's impossible (and not my responsibility) to meet everyone's expectations.
I can always delete the app.
They are people, just like me, trying to figure out life and maybe, just maybe I have a tool that they haven't tried yet.
I always say “I love adding value to people's lives” (not in a 'I know more than you' kind of way) and this is a few more people who are interested in receiving your insights.
I'm proud of you, Joey, for all your patience and dedication.
2022 was the year I learned to embrace the discomfort.
I've acknowledged my current discomfort and I'm ready to feel confident and continue doing what I do best… be me!
When I remove the fear of letting people down, I feel excited again, excited to continue sharing all that I've learned.
My invitation for you:
Bring to mind a current fear:
Do you judge the fear or love and accept it?
Are you wanting to overcome this fear?
If yes, what kind of support do you have?
My spiritual journey started over ten years ago and it's been a daily practice of listening to what I want and honoring that.
I created a free worksheet to help people figure out their core values and how to apply them in their every day life.
My friend, are you done making life harder than it needs to be? Are you done having your days filled with obligations that don't feed your soul? Are you ready to face your fears?
Do you want inner peace and freedom?
Do you want support in applying your core values to your days?
Let me be your guide.
Schedule time to connect with me here.
Bring all your questions and curiosities to the call, it's free.
Thanks for reading! I look forward to seeing you next time.
With so much gratitude,
Embracing this feeling in 2023!
Artist- Marta Solaz